I can't say I've had the most exciting life in the world, but through the years I've journaled, kept a diary, wrote fiction and have blogged many things hoping to capture some moments that someone would like to read and even enjoy it.
I noticed last night that my daughter loves to sing and dance. She likes art and she makes up stories. She is 6 and doesn't know what she wants to do in life but when I was a child her age I wanted to be a singer and actor. I wrote a silly song about our crazy poodle and thought it was quite good. I hope I entertained my parents as much a Lily entertains us. I, of course, won't force any career ideas on her, but I was reminded to start doing something I love. Writing.
As I continue with this blog, most of my entries will focus on the every day, but I might share among the other themed-blogs I have kept in my life.
At this point on April, 19, 2020 I'd say we are about half-way through our stay-at-home orders directed by our Governor Michelle Lujan-Grisham. Most states have some stay-at-home order in place to try to flatten the curve as the medical experts and scientists says necessary to slow the spread down of this virus.
Covid-19 has instilled a lot of fear in me. I honestly am ok with staying home as much as possible to protect myself and my family from getting it. I'm one of those extroverts who is coping as best as I can. I will go out for necessities. I avoid people like a plague is brewing and I haven't even enjoyed any time in the yard.
Thankfully, David is working from home. It's not easy for him, but he can do his job remotely and continue to bring in a salary which will keep us above water. I'd be drowning without him as my part-time job has dropped to almost nothing. I guess the could thing in that is I can homeschool Lily. I'd like to hope the lock down continues through the end of the school year for everyone.
Then what will life be like?
It can't be any worse than how it started. March 11 we got the news that the schools were closing through April 6. It was going to be an extremely long Spring Break, or so we thought. Monday night, March 16, the "lockdown" started with a bang... or maybe it was a thud or crash. Whatever it was, Mom fell down and broke her hip. I'd gone out to pick up Blakes Lottaburger for the night. I wasn't gone long. Earlier in the day I'd taken my mom to the RA doctor. Like a hibernating bear, she's been cooped up in the house for winter and it was our first day out in a long time. I think the trip tired her out, but even after that and hearing the doctor say she should always walk with her walker, she ignored the advice and continued to walk without it, grabbing furniture and shuffling about. She was on her way down to her bedroom when she must have tripped on the walker platform and fell. David heard her and that was it. Another call to 911, another trip to the ER and another injury set her back.
I was told I could not meet her at the ER and would hear from the doctor later.
I settled in with David and Lily for dinner and tried to relax. An hour or so later, I got a call from a nurse asking me to go meet my mom in the ER.
It was a trip. There were so few people there. I was screened for symptoms and let in to see her where I stayed till at least 2 am. After that visiting hours were limited. She had surgery on Tuesday. David stayed home with Lily and for the rest of the week, I'd go see her. I was screened every time going into the hospital, allowed to stay for a few hours and once I left, I could not return.
Her recovery has been slow going. I questing the sanity of bringing her home right now, when she should have had skilled nursing care somewhere. But with the virus spreading like wildfire in assisted living facilities and nursing homes, I chose to bring her home with limited home-health care. It has been a challenge and part of me regrets not getting her full-time care. I expected her to bounce back mentally and she really hasn't. I suspect there are other things going on and now it's a series of bad days and good days with her. It's a stress I don't want but am doing my best to manage.
It's a bit like that at home. For not having a normal routine any more, life at home is exhausting.
This virus has brought out a lot of stress, anxiety and irrational fear within me. I've had nightmares, horrible thoughts running through my head, but I believe we have been safe and have been exercising every caution possible to stay safe.
It's just the head games that tell me otherwise.
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